Over the past few weeks, I have witnessed the arrival of the most irritating new fashion craze amongst toddlers and adults. I mean, anything aside from the Wii that spans that large of a population has got to be wrong. No. It is wrong.
Slap bracelets in the 80’s were cool. Yes, they did cause injury in some cases, but that’s besides the point. At least they looked hot. These new ‘bandz’ (oy vey) don’t even fit the shape of your wrist correctly because they are molded to jump back to some freakishly ambiguous lame blob. Our closest, most personal social networking accomplice Facebook even has a page dedicated to the revulsion of these things. Needless to say, we are less than impressed with these jelly bracelet impostors.
Like all fashion, what comes around goes around, what was old will be new again. Almost 20 years ago, Madonna inspired us to wear black jelly bracelets. And not just as a regular, plain old bracelet. We could intertwine them to make them thicker, combine two to make a bracelet and ring set and stack them as high as pie. Sigh.
As a true testament to our friendship and fashion skills, Flaxen and Tawny bought jelly bracelets along with candy, pig snouts and monocles as party favors to fill up a pinata for Flaxen’s birthday. Once that sucker split, the two of us were like white on rice grabbing those jellies. And we didn’t take them off until they broke off.
We want the jellies to come back not as a fad, but as a real sign of friendship and solidarity. What’s even better? You can give these to all of your friends and avoid the nastiness of who gets one of the two halves of the best friend necklace!